Sandman’s Definitive Ratings – Celtic at Atlantas | OneFootball

SANDMAN’S DEFINITIVE RATINGS: CELTIC @ ATLANTIS…

Kasper Schmeichel of Celtic FC in action during the UEFA Champions League 2024/25 League Phase MD3 match between Atalanta BC and Celtic FC at Stadio di Bergamo on October 23, 2024 in Bergamo, Italy. (Photo by Marco Luzzani/Getty Images)

THE FRIENDLY GHOST – 8/10 – Vast experience put to the test behind a defence haunted by the Dortmund spectres, now faced with the free-scoring Europa League Champions (should we repeat that one for Zombie lurkers? Not losers – Champions…). Kasper hushed the critics with a display of sanguine, savvy and speed – in feet and hands as his reflexes reflexed quite brilliantly to twice deny them a half-time lead. Commanded his box really well and never appeared under pressure when asked to pick a pass out of a heavily besieged defensive third. The stopper we need in times like these.

WAYNE GRETZKY – 7/10 – Did the Canadians send troops to Italy in WW2? No idea, but AJ must have thought he’d become embroiled in some trench warfare re-enactment with the unenviable task of stifling some fascist weapons. That took him some getting to grips with, as Frank Zappa out on their wing kept cutting inside and delivering killer balls with impunity. But the big Moose refused to be overwhelmed and worked his hooves off.Remarkably survived the 90 despite picking up a mad yellow when coming out of the tunnel, an utter bell-end of a ref (yes, that one from Rotterdam) spanking him so early the shamrock pattern was still on my (first) Guinness. Bit of consternation late-on when he had less mobility than Stephen Hawking but hobbled through the remaining minutes; surely some earlier communication could have seen The Brickie on to shore up? Nonetheless, AJ takes home a proper warrior’s medal.

Atalanta BC v Celtic FC – UEFA Champions League 2024/25 League Phase MD3 Ademola Lookman of Atalanta BC 1907 contrasts with Auston Trusty of Celtic FC during the UEFA Champions League 2024/2025 League Phase MD3 football match between Atalanta BC and Celtic FC at Gewiss Stadium in Bergamo, Italy, on October 23, 2024. Bergamo Italy. Photo Roberto Tommasini

CRUSTY THE CLOWN – 8/10 – Well, strike me down with a feather off a Cantwell boa, Austin really has powers (see what I did there, Dr.Evil fans…). Hardly a foot or bum cheek out of place as his positioning and competitive instincts got a torrid test. Stood up to bombardment by both ball and bodies as they whipped in lethal deliveries high and low and followed up with midfield runners throwing themselves into the fray. All about focus and strength for a central defender in those frantic circumstances and he remarkably saw it through like a pimp daddy; not a ‘P.Diddy’ – that’s a whole other Ibrox story involving Gough, a public convenience and Pee Wee Herman. Tonight was the night the support gave the much maligned new NFL quarterback (well, he’s American, right?) a pensive nod of approval. Great game.

Sandman’s Definitive Ratings continue on the next page…

BERGAMO, ITALY – OCTOBER 23: (L-R) Kyogo Furuhashi, Liam Scales and James Forrest of Celtic FC salute the crowd at the end of the UEFA Champions League 2024/25 League Phase MD3 match between Atalanta BC and Celtic FC at Stadio di Bergamo on October 23, 2024 in Bergamo, Italy. (Photo by Marco Luzzani/Getty Images)

OF JUSTICE – 8/10 – Liam, flustered? Ha! Liam, outclassed, out-muscled? Ha! Liam not up to this level? Ha! He speets on your leetle stoopeed opeenyon, you Playstation FIFA veergeen; in a French-Gaelic accent by all accounts…Tonight only two shaky moments bookended a masterful defensive outing in the land of defensive outings. Sloppy pass early on and a stupid shirt-pull at the death to gift them a direct fee-kick around the box, and really destroy fingernails. Those aside, the Ginger Baresi WAS Baresi; interceptions, last-ditch tackles, clearances, timing – all straight out of The Master’s defensive handbook.

All that’s further required is a bit more relish – i.e a little of the dark arts wouldn’t go amiss to unsettle his opponents a tad. But I’ll impart some of those Sunday League savages’ party tricks when I hook up with him at the next Banrndarrig ‘RA open day. Until then, there’s a long season ahead and five history-making CL matches to contend with. It’s comforting to know there’s a young underrated Irishman emminently capable of navigating Celtic through every one of them with aplomb.

Alex Valle of Celtic FC competes for the ball with Marten De Roon of Atalanta BC during the UEFA Champions League 2024/25 League Phase MD3 match between Atalanta BC and Celtic FC at Stadio di Bergamo on October 23, 2024 in Bergamo, Italy. (Photo by Marco Luzzani/Getty Images)

UNCANNY – 8.5/10 MOTM – Draw straws across the backline for MOTM. But this baby Barca kid gets my vote tonight. First CL start, feverish atmosphere in the home of the rampant Europa League WINNERS (see that ‘winning’ bit again, Zombie lurkers? roon ye…), up against a number of Serie A playboys with goals in their eyes.And he stood up to it and more – added excellent attacking intent that edged him over everyone else; no fear to invert and push into space high up, almost the hero of the night with a sparky deflected strike that brought out a fine save. Tired like the rest as the dead hour approached but held his head up and his wits alert and was still fizzing around our box getting in the way of danger, closing down his man, maintaining discipline to see us through, unfazed. Beyond admirable. How about a buyout clause in there Pete, fhs?

(L-R) Luke McCowan, Callum McGregor and Paulo Bernardo of Celtic FC salute the crowd at the end of the UEFA Champions League 2024/25 League Phase MD3 match between Atalanta BC and Celtic FC at Stadio di Bergamo on October 23, 2024 in Bergamo, Italy. (Photo by Marco Luzzani/Getty Images)

CALMAC – 7.5/10 – Not tonight; no way was Calmac getting over-run and left behind. Great leadership shown, exceptional off-the-ball work-rate and prompting to keep heads up and in the game. On the ball, he demonstrated just how to ease the pressure with sensible possession, running the clock down and allowing breathers for the embattled defence. That is how you want your skipper performing in such elevated European nights; more quality input around him in the mid-to-front areas and he may have orchestrated a famous win.

Sandman’s Definitive Ratings continue on the next page…

Berat Djimsiti of Atalanta BC and Reo Hatate of Celtic FC jump for the ball during the UEFA Champions League 2024/25 League Phase MD3 match between Atalanta BC and Celtic FC at Stadio di Bergamo on October 23, 2024 in Bergamo, Italy. (Photo by Marco Luzzani/Getty Images)

HAKUNA HATATE – 6.5/10 – Again, a night of nearly for Reo; nearly right at it, nearly making the connections, the timed runs. Some lovely involvements, but too few; you can see he’s got it but just needs to maximise it when those moments appear. Sloppiness failed him as he found himself open or with time to pick a pass. Frusttrating, as we know he’s got a faultless match-winning game in him at this level. Maybe soon.

Ademola Lookman of Atalanta BC competes for the ball with Arne Engels of Celtic FC during the UEFA Champions League 2024/25 League Phase MD3 match between Atalanta BC and Celtic FC at Stadio di Bergamo on October 23, 2024 in Bergamo, Italy. (Photo by Marco Luzzani/Getty Images)

THE TERMINATOR – 6/10 – See Reo; young Arne definitely has it, the O’Riley quality. Similarly to Matty, though, being of raw vintage means volatility in form. Some flashes of quality here but just off it on the big moments. But he did not shy from the hard graft of keeping them out; antithetical to his attacking ethos yet he pulled his weight for the team.

Daizen Maeda of Celtic FC is pressured by Berat Djimsiti of Atalanta BC during the UEFA Champions League 2024/25 League Phase MD3 match between Atalanta BC and Celtic FC at Stadio di Bergamo on October 23, 2024 in Bergamo, Italy. (Photo by Marco Luzzani/Getty Images)

LORD KATSUMOTO – 6/10 – Criminally underused; our closing-down machine barely got to terrorise them and his attacking pace was hardly exploited, bar one scintillating burst that resulted in their keeper at full low stretch to prevent a sensational opener. Perhaps credit Atlantis for making sure he was starved and isolated, but I was still dismayed when he was hooked with 15 or so fraught minutes remaining and many collapsing exhausted Bhoys all over the place (and that was just in the pub). Our finest pressure-release valve takes the long walk to be replaced by the laziest Honduran since Daniel Zacapa played the role of Detective Taylor in the film Seven, who was a sarcastic dick to Brad Pitt’s Detective Mills in the opening scene which resulted in Mills being assigned to Morgan Freeman and thus ending up deid. Just a theory…

Adam Idah of Celtic FC competes for the ball with Isak Hien of Atalanta BC during the UEFA Champions League 2024/25 League Phase MD3 match between Atalanta BC and Celtic FC at Stadio di Bergamo on October 23, 2024 in Bergamo, Italy. (Photo by Marco Luzzani/Getty Images)

DUNCAN IDAHO – 5.5/10 – Big disappointment. Given the start for his physical presence but failed to compete effectively against their two central defensive beasts, who had far too comfortable a night, able to even stroll forward at will. So we didn’t get high enough often enough, the ball was bouncing back off him when we needed it held up and, though he rumbled around fully committed to the cause, he never once initiated a right good ruck to let them know he was here on business.

TAKINTE – 7/10 – Socks worked off. A shift on the back foot, dropping in to aid AJ, collecting deep, but always looking to be released. His time almost came on a couple of occasions, but for the break of the ball or a better-weighted pass he may have done some damage. Always in the mix for action, giving them pause for thought.

Sandman’s Definitive Ratings continue on the next page…

SUBS –

Kyogo Furuhashi of Celtic FC competes for the ball with Ederson of Atalanta BC during the UEFA Champions League 2024/25 League Phase MD3 match between Atalanta BC and Celtic FC at Stadio di Bergamo on October 23, 2024 in Bergamo, Italy. (Photo by Marco Luzzani/Getty Images)

KILLER MUSHROOM – 6.5/10 – On reflection, probably THE first choice. Did more in his late stint than Idah’s 70 minutes, close to scoring twice, a total flaming nuisance for their big defenders who struggled to keep tabs on him.

SAINT BERNARDO – N/A – Filled a space, dug around, eased the burden for his time on the park; all that was asked, done.

Matteo Ruggeri of Atalanta BC is challenged by James Forrest of Celtic FC during the UEFA Champions League 2024/25 League Phase MD3 match between Atalanta BC and Celtic FC at Stadio di Bergamo on October 23, 2024 in Bergamo, Italy. (Photo by Marco Luzzani/Getty Images)

JAMESY – N/A – Confused by his remit – play right back for the last five. With AJ mortally wounded and trying his best to stay out the way, it fell upon Jamesy, dragged from the stands as he searched for mermaids to bang (“Goin tae Atlantis ur we, eh? Must be a few ay them Darryl Hannahs aboot – See that nudie erse bit in ‘Splash’, ooft…”). And he managed it well, to his credit. Though he’ll still be arriving home a bit gloomy with his empty fish tank.

Davide Zappacosta of Atalanta BC is pressured by Luke McCowan of Celtic FC during the UEFA Champions League 2024/25 League Phase MD3 match between Atalanta BC and Celtic FC at Stadio di Bergamo on October 23, 2024 in Bergamo, Italy. (Photo by Marco Luzzani/Getty Images)

HIGHLAND TOFFEE – N/A –  See Paulo; likewise, an appearance to savour but also to keep the heid and shape and freshen up the overall energy as we toiled to see it out.

BRIAN DE – N/A – Lazy? Who said that? On he came, the worst we feared, but he threw himself into getting us over the line as much as the next man. Threw a couple of them about as well, surprisingly, and offered guileful feet as an escape option.

Sandman’s Definitive Ratings continue on the next page…

Celtic FC coach Brendan Rodgers reacts during the UEFA Champions League 2024/25 League Phase MD3 match between Atalanta BC and Celtic FC at Stadio di Bergamo on October 23, 2024 in Bergamo, Italy. (Photo by Marco Luzzani/Getty Images)

THE NOTAPRODDYGAL – 8/10 – “It’s no’ flamin’ St.Johnstone away!” went the cry as the team-sheet appeared. ‘I won’t change my tactics,’ he’d told a bemused fanbase after the German hammering, and here we were, rocking up at Italy’s top-scoring dynamos, brash as Bugs Bunny wandering into an Elmer Fudd trap. And the shotgun would have been rammed down Brendan’s throat it it had ended up another humiliation. Not tonight, though. What happened was a minor miracle and a bookmaker’s dream as all Zombie handicap bets on a home cricket total got frazzled; Hope it was in the millions.

And credit to the grinning grifter for finally – FINALLY – getting his dues away in football’s La La Land of dreams both joyous and tragically broken. No nightmares as his side enacted the disciplines worked upon at Lennoxtown and manifested his mantra of focus and finesse.

These are the results that become reference points and landmarks for a coach as he evolves his squad into a collective capable of competing at elite levels. It may have been BR’s OK Corral in Atlantis, so he went in gunslinging. And came out whistling like Doc Holliday. He’ll be your huckleberry, Zombies; go look that one up…

MIBBERY – 5/10 – Early yellow. Soft fouls. Infuriating awards against us. Direct free-kicks, edge of our box, for innocuous challenges. Amazed they didn’t get a soft pen; testament to our splendid defending he didn’t get the chance to gift it. One year on. Still a prize…add your own insult.

Sandman’s Definitive Ratings continue on the next page…

Celtic FC players applaud the fans following the UEFA Champions League 2024/25 League Phase MD3 match between Atalanta BC and Celtic FC at Stadio di Bergamo on October 23, 2024 in Bergamo, Italy. (Photo by Marco Luzzani/Getty Images)

OVERALL – 8.5/10 – Our greatest European result since Saint Rafael Santos Borre papped in that fifth winning penalty in Seville and dispelled the Forces of Darkess forever. A journey of trepidation to a mythical civilisation, terrified we’d be literally underwater, drowned by devastating wave after wave of attack as we sank again, well out of our CL depth.

But… Wait… Hell. No! It happened, really. The kind of remarkable, disciplined display completely alien to Celtic in Europe for what seemed longer than it took the MIBs to award a penalty against the Zombies. From grim to grimly fiendish in 90 minutes of heroic stoicism. We escaped with a precious point and a wicked grin on our faces. Bear in mind the Arsend-of-London, those champions elect of media darlings and managed by ex-Zombie, Action Man, from the world’s greatest tourist league, only escaped Atlantis unscathed last month thanks to goalkeeping miracles.

So our chances were scoffed at, the odds of getting any kind of result higher than a punt on big daft Phil seeing out his Mordor contract. Expectations were that we’d all be staggering around in a stupor by half-time again, wearing the shellshocked expression of Queen Camilla’s gynaecologist. Yet they only went and did it – pulled off a minor miracle of defensive resourcefulness, manufactured the most uplifting 0-0 since the D-Cup second string held the Double-Cs in the 1979 Russ Meyer Beneath The Valley Of The Ultra Vixens Bustier Cup Trophy Final.

Four CL points from 3 games to date. A tally we might have dreamed of, but happening indeed and bringing the fantasy of qualification tantalisingly within our grasp. Also, without being too optimistic, the chance to exact revenge upon Dortmund when we meet them in the final in Munich next May…

What a difference a few weeks makes. Champions League football’s fun again. Bring it on.

Go Away Now

Sandman

Auston Trusty of Celtic applauds the fans at full-time Atalanta v Celtic, UEFA Champions League, Gewiss Stadium, Bergamo, Italy, 23 October 2024. Photo Marco Canoniero, Shutterstock

READ THIS…A stellar performance from Celtic’s summer signing Auston Trusty

Celtic in the Thirties by Celtic Historian Matt Corr is published in two volumes by Celtic Star Books. ORDER NOW!

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