Sandman’s Definitive Ratings – Celtic v BSC Young Boys

The Celtic Star

·23 January 2025

Sandman’s Definitive Ratings – Celtic v BSC Young Boys

SANDMAN’S DEFINITIVE RATINGS: CELTIC v SHE’S TURNED THE WEANS AGAINST US

“You can’t always get what you want, but if you try sometimes, you might find, you get what you need.” – Mick Jagger

UEFA Champions League 2024 2025, Celtic Glasgow vs Young Boys Bern YB Celtic Park. Kasper Schmeichel cheers Celtic’s 1- 0 victory. Photo JOERAN STEINSIEK (IMAGO)

THE FRIENDLY GHOST – 8/10 – “Tender is the ghost, The ghost I love the most. Hiding from the sun, Waiting for the night to come”. Who knew back then that Blur were writing a tune for us now about our new heroic goalie? It seems almost as prophetic as Kasper’s save: the first of that instantaneous double – when the world stood still – because the ball was past him. Yet, with prescience to rival Paul Atreides (see what I did there Dune fans?) Kasper’s mind and hands were ahead of it, clawing back to stop the fizzing volley crossing our line. Save of the season. And man of the hour as he signs on for another year of this Hooped insanity. Pleased to have you, Kasper. And your gloves that stuck like Lego to the final shot in the final seconds from the big ex-Zombie lobotomy; that sneaking in would have ended me…

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Greg Taylor prior to the UEFA Champions League 2024/25 League match between Celtic FC and BSC Young Boys at Celtic Park on January 22, 2025. (Photo by Ian MacNicol/Getty Images)

GREGGS THE BAKER – 6.5/10 – Up-down, in-out, good and bad, on and off…His match sounds like a night with Jamesy (ladies…) but Greggs, so normally consistent, found himself often balancing uncharacteristic errors with surprisingly uplifting moments; stylish passes, winning penalties…Before falling to the raggedy virus after the break, losing his way a bit, and being hooked as we attempted to reshuffle and regain a foothold.

Adam Idah celebrates with teammate Alistair Johnston after Loris Benito of BSC Young Boys concedes an own goal, resulting in the first goal for Celtic, during the UEFA Champions League match between Celtic FC and BSC Young Boys at Celtic Park on January 22, 2025. (Photo by Ian MacNicol/Getty Images)

WAYNE GRETZKY – 6.5/10 – Much like the weekend, AJ’s roving potency was quietened by the need for caution regarding big and mobile, possibly troublesome opponents. While not being neutered (it’s alright Jamesy…), he had to put in more of a considered professional game than be an aggressive creative force. Which he did, with solid credit.

Football UEFA Champions League 2024 2025, Celtic Glasgow vs Young Boys Bern YB Celtic Park Glasgow, Scene in the YB penalty area, Auston Trusty tries to convert the ball with his head. Photo Joeran Steinsiek IMAGO

CRUSTY THE CLOWN – 6.5/10 – Any doubts he could muster a physical persona to counter the athletic brawn of his direct opponents were thankfully rebuked. No squealing on the deck here holding his big toe, not in this heady atmosphere and not with such great glory at stake. So he stood up to it all; jumped up to it more like, winning decisive headers at the back and almost scoring one himself from a corner. Got through it all quite well, got us through it splendidly as a component of a strong defensive unit.

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Cameron Carter-Vickers of Celtic during the UEFA Champions League 2024/25 League Phase MD7 match between Celtic FC and BSC Young Boys at Celtic Park on January 22, 2025 Photo JustPictures.ch/ Richard Callis IMAGO

GET CARTER – 7/10 – If he’s got any weaknesses it’s height and pace against, well, height and pace. So tonight – in the isolation of his defensive duties – was a proper test. And after a few tempestuous tussles in the opening half hour, the grizzly in him was out and snarling. Some centre backs are made for this intensity, their game lifted by a real challenge to their fortitude. CCV is one of them; absorbing the physical combat like a cage fighter, thriving on the fraught moments when a well-timed tackle may be the difference between win or lose. Result: Swiss Alps, zero, The Rockies, one.

Callum McGregor celebrates with his Celtic teammates after winning during the UEFA Champions League match between Celtic FC and BSC Young Boys at Celtic Park on January 22, 2025 Photo JustPictures.ch/Richard Callis.

CALMAC – 8/10 – Fantastic first-half for the skipper. Dominated the middle, snappy passing and rousing bursts through their lines. So good, that people around me were wanting him dropped for fear we won too easily…* Not a surprise then, that as he drew breath after the break, the YB resurged. At these times we need the likes of young Engels deep beside him until we re-establish control. But on nights like this, we see his true quality as a captain and playmaker; exemplary glorification of the jersey at top-level.

*No they weren’t. The Judean People’s Front For Resting Calmac were disbanded twenty minutes in, and the Rest Calmac Front Of Judea turned in their badges at half-time.

Arne Engels takes a penalty kick, which is saved by Marvin Keller during the UEFA Champions League match between Celtic FC and BSC Young Boys at Celtic Park on January 22, 2025. (Photo by Ian MacNicol/Getty Images)

THE TERMINATOR – 6/10 – Jeeeee-sus, the kid had to miss one sometime, right? What a game to pick to scuff a pen. And he’d been swanning around, firing in some great balls prior to it, getting the tackles in, providing some great midfield synchronicity with Calmac and Reo. Hope the outcome puts it out of his mind and he cracks in his next one.

Reo Hatate during the UEFA Champions League match between Celtic FC and BSC Young Boys at Celtic Park on January 22,2025.Photo:JustPictures.ch. Richard Callis (IMAGO)

HAKUNA HATATE – 8.5/10 MOTM – The sublimely magnificent enigma of Reo. Always fraught with tension on these occasions to see which Hatate we pull out of the hat-ate…Tonight, it became evident from opening spells of possession that he was well engaged, with his mercurial movement a-tuned to the flow of the team and his distribution sharp and incisive. I mentioned on Saturday that watching him receive a pass from deep is a hell of a tell as to Reo’s form – the Zidane half-cocked swivel, effortlessly shuffling the ball across his body and pivoting the entire momentum of that instant in the game, powerfully in our favour. To wit, he’d already pulled a few through proceedings but saved the gem until the death, silken rotation and a sweeping pinpoint pass from deep that spun them onto their heels, caught in-behind for the final time, and at last we got the precious goal. All the frustration of his up and down season put to bed right there in our most defining moment for over a decade.

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Adam Idah celebrates with Daizen Maeda after Loris Benito of BSC Young Boys (not pictured) concedes an own goal, resulting in the first goal for Celtic, during the UEFA Champions League match between Celtic FC and BSC Young Boys at Celtic Park on January 22, 2025. (Photo by Ian MacNicol/Getty Images)

LORD KATSUMOTO – 7/10 – Wouldn’t be a CL campaign without the ubiquitous Daizen red card for handbags at dawn. Spoiled, for him, yet another terrific display at this level – hounding their back four, ripping up his direct opponent a number of times, just looking in his groove with turns, flicks and even fancies causing YB all sorts of hassle. And he know, being Japanese, all about soy – and how these officials are very much soyboys (© strained phonetic puns)…So, with one impetuous wee kick at Huggy Bear, we now miss our closing-down machine for the big visit to the tourist league OGs next week. Pray there’s not additional suspension meted out by those abstract pussies at UEFA.

UEFA Champions League Celtic Glasgow vs Young Boys Bern, Celtic Park. Goal celebration by Kyogo Furuhashi however VAR rules out the goal. Photo Joeran Steinsiek IMAGO

KILLER MUSHROOM – 7/10 – “Hat-trick, ya? I get hat-trick…What wrong wi’ you? You no’ understand? Gimmie it, you soyboy pussyman…” snarled Kyogo as he tried to wrestle the ball off the ref at full-time. In a season where Playstaton FIFA virgins everywhere keep highlighting his comparatively lower goals return, it’s games like these which tell the somewhat different underlying story behind the facts. Bluntly, he was pretty deadly and pretty unlucky; as unlucky as you’ll see in the CL. Absolutely no worries about his form, movement or instinct. Just shows you what the little guy can (almost) achieve when you actually play to his strengths…

Nicolas Kuhn of Celtic attempts a kick for score his goal during the UEFA Champions League match between Celtic FC and BSC Young Boys at Celtic Park on January 22, 2025. Photo JustPictures.chEurasia Sport Images

TAKINTE – 6.5/10 – Play the Kuhn! Play TO the Kuhn! might have been the more percipient cry… A number of opportunities to release him early, beyond their high line, were squandered in a YB tactical set-up that was a gift from Henrik (Ghod), knowing Kuhn’s style. As it was, we mysteriously kept his service at what seemed a fraction of what it should have been. Didn’t stop him causing a little chaos now and then, but it felt like we were rationing the opportunities to get him on the ball at pace running at them.

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SUBS –

OF JUSTICE – N/A – ‘Throw on the suave Ginger Baresi to distract them for five minutes with those flowing locks.” Worked. Just.

SAINT BERNARDO – 6/10 – Took him a few minutes to get the rhythm of things and his touch together but we got the required dig from Paulo with a few inventive sparks.

Adam Idah celebrates after his shot leads to an own goal, and the only goal of the game during the UEFA Champions League match between Celtic FC and BSC Young Boys at Celtic Park on January 22, 2025. (Photo by Ian MacNicol/Getty Images)

DUNCAN IDAHO – 6.5/10 – Will it be another super-sub final five months to eclipse last season’s blistering finish? Maybe he’s just suited to rumbling up tired defences with that physique and instinct. It’s been a long, often grim haul for him to date in 2024/25 until tonight’s glorious finale… And he still didn’t score! But the presence of mind, the quick wits and the thundering run onto Reo’s sublime ball was the major part he played in a triumph for the ages. Hold onto that vibe, big lhad, and get on with it.

UNCANNY – 6.5/10 – Frustrating that we don’t know his future; In the Hoops, I’d be delighted. Takes a natural footballer to enter such a fray and both impose and conduct himself in precisely the manner required to secure a vital win. In his heid and in his feet, this bhoy’s got it. Whether we get it too is up to YOU.

Yes, YOU.

YOU, Pistol Pete – I know you’re reading this and YOU know it’s DEFINITIVE… So get the finger and the Dark Web Bitcoin transaction address oot and get a deal done.

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Brendan Rodgers applauds the fans after the UEFA Champions League match between Celtic FC and BSC Young Boys at Celtic Park on January 22, 2025. (Photo by Ian MacNicol/Getty Images)

THE NOTAPRODDYGAL – 7.5/10 – The luck O’ the Irish strikes again, and the Zombies are seething. It was looking like nae luck and out for a duck as The Brodge went through agonies on the sidelines.The set-up had worked like a dream all first-half and by any coaching seminar’s hypothetical gameplay we’d already won it out of the park. Not so in reality. So with less time left on the clock as this incarnation of theRangers have, he takes the casino route, rolls the dice and we’re only expecting snake eyes…Nope, double sixes and the flaming roof blows, an avalanche of chips pile up, the croupier can’t believe it and Brendan’s only saved from the glamorous burds throwing themselves at him from left and right by Jamesy picking them off. Charmed. New Gucci belts all round!

Referee Rohit Saggi shows a red card to Daizen Maeda during the UEFA Champions League match between Celtic FC and BSC Young Boys at Celtic Park on January 22, 2025. (Photo by Ian MacNicol/Getty Images)

MIBBERY – 7/10 – Good grief, I detest these prissy woke suckers who do their best to take a man’s game down to the levels of gender non-binary where no context is considered in the numerous bouts of physical conflict, given the number of big athletic fellas duking it out. Took a while for the least Norewgian looking Norwegian I’ve ever seen to throw his cards about – bar a soft one on AJ – and I was alright with that until he bottled out of telling the VAR rascals to go do one and view the Daizen incident through the correct lens of two antagonists in a petulant match-long squabble, even after he gave US the initial foul. Ah, screw these bureaucratic clowns. They do nothing for football, and more in spite of its true spirit.

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Marvin Keller saves from Adam Idah only for the ball to ricochet off Loris Bonito Of BSC Young Boys and go into the net for an own goal during the UEFA Champions League match between Celtic FC and BSC Young Boys at Celtic Park on January 22, 2025. (Photo by Ian MacNicol/Getty Images)

OVERALL – 7.5/10 – Good grief, what a night. And we did it! In the most, ‘Good grief, what a flaming night’ of ways – by barraging their goal like they were SPL canon-fodder, failing to score, almost chucking it entirely, then winning it with a comedically weird og by their centre-back. Barron Trump in nets for them performed miracles. And after young Arne missed the penalty, the creeping sensation that we may be in for one of those tormenting Euro downfalls snuck up on us like Allan McGregor on the prowl.. As the second half raged, they emerged from their shelters and found a bit of swagger while we seemed to run out of ideas, hope, rhythm and tempo.

It was scrappy, disjointed for a lengthy period. But the signature of Celtic these past four seasons has been tributing the great Irish TV institution The Late Late Show with some near-miraculous escapism. So, who was expecting that? In steps the most expensive Irishman since Martin Scorcese spent $200 million on a movie that lasts an entire day (Well, 3 hours, but it’s really good…) and it’s Luck O’ The Irish #2 as Idah fails magnificently-successfully to win the match and we’re tripping in Paradise…

Adam Idah celebrates with Callum McGregor after Loris Benito of BSC Young Boys concedes an own goal during the UEFA Champions League match between Celtic FC and BSC Young Boys at Celtic Park on January 22, 2025.(Photo by Ian MacNicol/Getty Images)

…And tripping abroad once more as the magical mystery tour of Europe’s elite extends by a few dates and the Hoops get to play another two gigs at least before the adventure’s over. So, as Jamesy might say, hold on, this ride ain’t done.

Hail Hail, these Bhoys; deservedly walking tall and fearless among the big jungle cats. We’re loving it

Who’s next?

Go Away Now

Sandman