MLS Rivalry Week Delivers a Mixed Bag

Hooligan Soccer

·19 maggio 2025

MLS Rivalry Week Delivers a Mixed Bag

We’ve divided our results into three categories: Shockers, Sitters and Snoozers.

Shockers

All these fixtures had some gotcha element we weren’t expecting.

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CF Montréal 1 – 6 Toronto FC Joel Waterman’s 21st minute red card put the hosts behind the eight ball. Then Toronto ran the table, and lit up the scoreboard. This game represents 38% of Toronto’s entire seasonal goal tally.
Charlotte FC 1 – 4 Chicago Fire FC Read my lips: five straight losses for Charlotte. If it wasn’t for the flaming dumpster fire that is LA Galaxy, Charlotte would sit directly in the harsh spotlight highlighting horrific form.
Inter Miami CF 0 – 3 Orlando City SC Maybe I spoke too soon… joining Charlotte and Galaxy on the poop train is Inter Miami. In their last six games they’ve allowed 18 goals and recorded 1W – 1D – 4L. With only three more league games before the Club World Cup, this dip in form has to be concerning.
LA Galaxy 2 – 2 LAFC Most folks reasonably thought this El Tráfico would be a one-way street for LAFC to open the throttles. But Marco Reus, just back from injury, struck at the bookends of the game (6th and 85th minutes) to salvage some of LA Galaxy’s honor.
FC Dallas 0 – 2 Houston Dynamo FC In the past five weeks Houston has experienced a quiet revival, climbing up from 14th to 10th in the table. FC Dallas have trended in the opposite direction, dropping from 9th to 11th. Both teams were fairly even in this fixture, but Houston’s attacks were more clinical towards the end.

Sitters

A sitter in soccer is an easy shot, the equivalent of a gimme putt in golfing. These matches all ended how we expected them to end, or at least didn’t raise eyebrows.

New York City FC 2 – 0 New York Red Bulls Honestly, this match was a 50/50 shot for either side based on recent form. It was no surprise to see the home side prevail.
Minnesota United FC 3 – 0 St. Louis CITY SC If you pit a strong, balanced side against a slowly sinking team bereft of creativity, you get a scoreline like the above. The Loons are strong; CITY the opposite.
Columbus Crew 1 – 1 FC Cincinnati This is the best named fixture in the MLS: The Hell is Real Derby. The actual match wasn’t quite as fiery as the brimstone fields of Acheron, and Columbus will rue squandering their advantages in possession and shots (total and one frame).
Atlanta United FC 0 – 1 Philadelphia Union What is happening in Atlanta? They are so sucky right now. My favorite non-DP striker Tai Baribo got his eleven goal of the season from the spot.
Colorado Rapids 1 – 0 Real Salt Lake Yep. Not much more to say.

Snoozers

Almost not worth the bytes to record the words, these were.

New England Revolution 0 – 0 San Jose Earthquakes This is the Revs’ seventh straight game without a loss. On a day when former New England coach Bruce Arena returned with the Quakes, he left with nothing but a point (and likely a deeper scowl than usual).
Austin FC 0 – 0 Vancouver Whitecaps I certainly think the intense heat dome that was sitting over Austin played a part in this goose egg game. Vancouver’s Whitecap melted a bit, but they held onto a point.
Nashville SC 0 – 0 D.C. United D.C. United has to be pleased to see a zero on the scoreboard. They’ve conceded more goals (25) than any other side besides LA Galaxy.
San Diego FC 0 – 0 Sporting Kansas City SKC managed to neutralize San Diego’s explosive attack, while offering nothing of their own. They had two total shots. Boring.
Portland Timbers 1 – 1 Seattle Sounders FC Terrible showing from Portland, who only managed four shots. They were lucky to escape with a draw after being outplayed by Seattle.