Sandman’s Definitive Ratings – Celtic v Colombia

The Celtic Star

·05 de janeiro de 2025

Sandman’s Definitive Ratings – Celtic v Colombia

SANDMAN’S DEFINITIVE RATINGS: CELTIC v COLOMBIA…

“But the point is, I bounced back. People bounce back. Teams bounce back…” – Alan Partridge, ‘Bouncing back’.

THE FRIENDLY GHOST – 6/10 – After Thursday’s abandonment trauma, the aged gentleman goalkeeper got a quiet 90 minutes of reflection while his defence thwarted any ambitions of the lumbering giants lining up around him for set-pieces. Highlights of his day were a nice searching pass deep into their half as he joined in the kickabout, then the scintillating counter just before the third, launched by his footballing wits.

Nicolas Kühn and Alistair Johnston during the Scottish Premiership match between Celtic and St. Mirren at Celtic Park on January 05, 2025. (Photo by Ian MacNicol/Getty Images)

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GREGGS THE BAKER – 6.5/10 – You still here? A swansong, perhaps for the busy baker. And he reverted to the type we’ve taken for granted; industrious water-carrying with organisational oversight. If it weren’t for the identikit quality of the Barca Kid and the incoming powerhouse returning prodigal it would be a wrench to see him leave. But now if he does, it’s with deserved goodwill.

WAYNE GRETZKY – 7/10 – Back in the chain-gang. Of two – him and the German Jinky believing their aberration at the Hate Pit to begin on the front foot today. Lung-busting support, deadly balls into the danger zone, robust defending. A proper AJ outing.

Auston Trusty scores the second goal during the Scottish Premiership match between Celtic and St. Mirren at Celtic Park on January 05, 2025. (Photo by Ian MacNicol/Getty Images)

Auston Trusty celebrates after scoring his team’s second goal during the Scottish Premiership match between Celtic and St. Mirren at Celtic Park on January 05, 2025. (Photo by Ian MacNicol/Getty Images)

CRUSTY THE CLOWN – 7/10 – Obvious. Selection was obvious. Not obvious – how he’d come back from the cold into the cold and deal with their hired muscle. Consummately, was the answer. And managed to throw in a vital first goal for the Hoops to put us out of reach at a perfect point in the game. A belated Happy New Year for the Pennsylvania Puyol.

GET CARTER – 6.5/10 – Back in tow with his compatriot, a chance for the Big Mhan to delegate some authority and let others prove themselves. Kept control of the line well and produced a quietly efficient stifling of their attack.

Callum McGregor applauds the fans at full-time following the team’s victory in the Scottishl Premiership match between Celtic and St. Mirren at Celtic Park on January 05, 2025. (Photo by Ian MacNicol/Getty Images)

CALMAC – 6.5/10 – Watch closely, acolytes – 33rd minute, loose ball around our centre circle, bounces up, four players considering option, Calmac already sprung into life, two electric touches and Luke’s free to feed Daizen to find Kuhn and the deadlock is broken. Such is the quality of the skipper, taken much for granted these days, berated after the matrix anomaly of Mordor. A scintillating burst of energised intuitive play to ease your stress and tip the frustrating balance in the Champions favour. He’s not got more medals than Captain Tom (had…) for nothing, you know.

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Luke McCowan during the Scottish Premiership match between Celtic and St. Mirren at Celtic Park on January 05, 2025. (Photo by Ian MacNicol/Getty Images)

HIGHLAND TOFFEE – 6/10 – A solid outing. As mentioned above, instrumental in the first, always appearing useful when he found time and space. Not an easy shift, running the Hatate channels among uncompromising bruisers, but he gave 100% and his quality showed in exciting flashes; Much like Jamesy on Hogmanay but, eh, different…

Nicolas Kuhn celebrates with teammate Arne Engels after scoring his team’s third goal during the Scottish Premiership match between Celtic and St. Mirren at Celtic Park on January 05, 2025. (Photo by Ian MacNicol/Getty Images)

THE TERMINATOR – 8/10 MOTM – Deliveries. Movement. Ball retention. Guile. Composure. A dawning of realisation that maybe his transfer fee will be justified when you see the bhoy cruising around exhibiting natural footballing class. Untroubled today by cheeky monkeys throwing their own faeces at him, we got an inkling of just how good a player can be developed here. Certainly, in my humble but definitive opinion – stated previously in some sozzled preamble, probably – Arne is a splendid future fit for the Calmac deep-lying role.

Those wicked deliveries aside, he most impressed today with his quick and guileful distribution from those deeper areas when under pressure in a packed midfield. Facing his own goal, taking a risky ball but making the optimistic pass instead of the safe retentive one; not risky, but eventful – finding someone in forward space, opening up attacking options as their press came in. We play Calmac-plus one & one; a 1-2 staggered mid. With Arne in there we have the 2-1 option as well, taking pressure off Calmac and letting younger legs shuttle up and down. And, dare I say it, another option entirely – Calmac rested up with the kid running the middle; he appears to have the mentality for it. An edge of arrogant self-belief is always good to see in a young player; Nobody’s fool.

LORD KATSUMOTO – 6/10 – Daizen be Daizening again. Looked dangerous early but starved of good service. Then their energy levels dropped, we found space and Daizen and they got ragged and rag-dolled as his pace opened them up.

DUNCAN IDAHO – 5.5/10 – Not bad, but still not really great. Maybe needs some of that Arne arrogance; for a big lad he’s quite polite to his opponents, when a snarl and a thud may be more productive. He still got about though, close with a second-minute header, called offside for one unluckily late on. But sometimes he’s still on his heels when opportunity presents. More work at Lennoxtown required. And some swagger…

Nicolas Kühn celebrates scoring the third goal during the Scottish Premiership match between Celtic and St. Mirren at Celtic Park on January 05, 2025. (Photo by Ian MacNicol/Getty Images)

TAKINTE – 7.5/10 – Smashed in the face by rancid favela pimp on Thursday, did he still have the appetite for it three days later? Yes, no sand-dancing for this Teutonic terror – got his eye in after half an hour of promise and utilised his frightening gliding style thereafter. Scored a second right after narrowly being denied a goal of the season in a move where his scintillating burst of pace and sumptuous bodyswerve had Vladimir Urin, director of the Bolshoi Ballet, on the phone screaming for Kuhn’s tights measurements, and a transfer at all costs. After he’d recovered from his faint, of course.

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SUBS –

HAKUNA HATATE – N/A – Still traumatised by the traumatising he gave us on Thursday. Easy 20-minute-therapy afternoon.

YING – N/A – Match done, but another opportunity to test out his dancing feet.

KILLER MUSHROOM – N/A – Hello. Goodbye. Win bonus appearance late Xmas present, I suppose.

BRIAN DE – N/A – You still here, #2? “Make up yer mind, boss…” he swore in Honduran as he trotted into baw-freezing conditions. After being so absent, do we anticipate a joyful comeback of Ferris Bueller proportions? Brendan? Brendan?…

Celtic manager Brendan Rodgers prior to the Scottish Premiership match between Celtic and St. Mirren at Celtic Park on January 05, 2025. (Photo by Ian MacNicol/Getty Images)

THE NOTAPRODDYGAL – 7.5/10 – Major relief after Thursday’s hubris-smashing humiliation. His changes worked – thanks for reading… – and we saw renewed vigour and purpose about the system. If he had hoped for a bounce, this is exactly what the calculated psychology of the past few days inspired. The careful reset of his squad’s belief after so much critique and (deserved imo) downright slating was his major task. Egos repaired, reputations inflated once more, confidence restored, natural order asserted after that Jurrasic Park style abberation when the food-chain got corrupted; Credit where it’s due – Mission accomplished well for the boss and staff.

MIBBERY – 5/10 – Fandannies. Half an hour they had St.Murder hanging in with nitpicking, timewasting and tedious pitiful awards of fouls where there weren’t any. Fall down. Free-kick. Hungover from celebrating Thursday, the main MIB forgot his cards as VAR forgot they had a monitor, then ultimately got short-circuited (literally) by resurgent Hoops.

Greg Taylor is seen during a power failure the Scottish Premiership match between Celtic and St. Mirren at Celtic Park on January 05, 2025. (Photo by Ian MacNicol/Getty Images)

OVERALL – 7.5/10 – A very decent comeback. Tensions around a difficult physical battle were diffused slightly by the lunchtime circus performance in Edinburgh as we were reminded just how much a collective of clowns can make us smile on a dreich post-festive January Sunday. Zombies being Zombies again in the most amusing of manners. So when focus turned on Celtic, it was up to the Bhoys to make us believe in them once again and answer the many concerning questions of the year to date.

After an ego-shattering defeat by a wee diddy team, recovery of form is never straightforward. What we got were New Year resolutions to the max – dispelling any delusions of adequacy from across the town in a composite display of flair and substance that had the hardy gangsters of New Medellin beaten well before the coke ran out. Even sabotage of the power grid by pesky rogue Zombie sparkies failed to halt the green machine’s momentum.

-13 it is, as winter rolls in, and we’re also watching the 27 degrees of warming goal difference. It’s almost as if Thursday never happened. Just like the Zombies insist regards liquidation.

Tick-tock, back in yer box…

Go Away Now

Sandman

Celtic in the Thirties by Celtic Historian Matt Corr is published in two volumes by Celtic Star Books. ORDER NOW WHILE STOCKS LAST!