Sandman’s Definitive Ratings – Celtic v Georgeorwell | OneFootball

SANDMAN’S DEFINITIVE RATINGS: CELTIC v GEORGEORWELL

Celtic Park ahead of the match between Celtic and Motherwell on 26th December 2024. Picture by Mark Runnacles Shutterstock

THE FRIENDLY GHOST – 6/10 – More ball skills than Jamesy, Kasper always looks like he’s enjoying the trauma when we’re subject to commotion. Great feet and sure hands; quiet, the way he likes it bar a few flurries that were tidied up.

Anthony Ralston and Shane Blaney during the Scottish Premiership match between Celtic and Motherwell at Celtic Park on 26th December 2024. Picture by Mark Runnacles

TONY THE TIGER – 6/10 – Throbbing anger emanated from Tony all game. No hells were to be given after his disappointing Dundee safari. Another solid outing, replete with all the necessary intensity and commitment. Just – as pointed out Sunday – still missing the trademark finest weapon in his arsenal, those killer crosses. Tony took out the Jock Stein hospitality windaes with one of his today. Worse delivery than DHL who left a case of special zombie wine in my bin with no note, Xmas Eve, the bar stewards. *

GREGGS THE BAKER – 5.5/10 – Stop it, Greggs. No, not the sausage rolls (mana from heaven; and why the hell were the shops shut Xmas Day? What am I supposed to do for breakfast on the holiest of holies? Crazy policy…) No, STOP the lackadaisical square balls across the back that, almost habitually now, get picked off – two this afternoon. Two too many to tolerate twice today, totally. (alliteration-averse dyslexics, I am your end-level boss). Suicidal stuff. Throws shade on his general performances that are rising in overall quality.

Liam Scales celebrates a goal by Daizen Maeda during the match between Celtic and Motherwell at Celtic Park, on 26th December 2024. Picture by Mark Runnacles.

OF JUSTICE – 8/10 MOTM – The pendulum swings once more towards the qualifying assets for a Celtic central defender, and the dial’s stuck on Ginger after an accomplished, embossed display by the Ginger Baresi. BR answered the ‘big game question’ with exclusion, but when needed, Liam’s silken feet can sure pick a pass and maintain flow of play. Potent in attack too – great flick to set up the defining second, and a flying header of his own so close. What a season he’s having. Again, you doubters.

GET CARTER – 7/10 – Ah, the Rock Of Ages; how we miss his uncompromising, organising presence. And how he seems to have grown into his Celtic role; loving life in the Hoops and putting in regular formidable 90 minutes like this – solid and thorough in all his involvement, steering us out from the back with one eye on trouble.

Callum McGregor at the final whistle during the match between Celtic FC and Motherwell FC at Celtic Park, on 26th December 2024. (Picture by Mark Runnacles)

CALMAC – 7/10 – The baton is back in the hands of the midfield maestro. Didn’t waste his Xmas Day building Lego but instead read Sunday’s Definitive Ratings and was motivated to re-invigorate the Hoops’ engine room with some inspired prompting. When Calmac plays, Celtic play. And when Calmac plays with zip, the Celtic tempo beats out a rhythm no others domestically can match.

Paulo Bernardo and Dan Casey during the Scottish Premiership match between Celtic and Motherwell at Celtic Park, on 26th December 2024. (Picture by Mark Runnacles)

SAINT BERNARDO – 5.5/10 – Surprisingly quiet shift from the swarthy Portuguese who maybe overindulged on the Christmas Day Port. Or Buckie, as it’s known round these parts. He looked a bit leggy and never quite found space and purpose in the compacted midfield battleground to do some damage.

Arne Engels celebrates scoring during the match between Celtic and Motherwell at Celtic Park, on 26th December 2024. (Picture by Mark Runnacles)

THE TERMINATOR – 7/10 – Now we’re getting somewhere. A shot of confidence for the kid to dispel any self-doubt over his recent slump. Though he does not seem to carry too much remorseful baggage when able to step onto a crucial penalty and burst the parked-bus tyres. Tucked it away like a veteran, same as his ‘skelping shootout kick, but tweaking his technique to pick the other side.

Arne Engels of Celtic scores a penalty during the match between Celtic and Motherwell at Celtic Park, on 26th December 2024. (Picture by Mark Runnacles)

I like that – makes him a very difficult read for any studious future opponent keepers. Not that goalkeepers can actually read, but you get the drift…Played with a smile, laughed at his own shank, indulged in some invigorating one-touch passes and can hit thrilling corners. Pass of the day with his searching, swooping cross-field curver to find Daizen outpacing the teased keeper. You doubt his class, just put that look-and-hit on a loop; instinct in abundance – a Seve Ballesteros-out-of-the- car-park-rough of a ball.

Celtic’s Yang Hyun-Jun during the Scottish Premiership match between Celtic and Motherwell at Celtic Park, on 26th December 2024 Picture by Mark Runnacles Shutterstock

YING – 5.5/10 – Yang-ked off after an hour of ups and downs. Seemingly still as fankled as in Tannadice, but stepped it up a bit to nip in and win the penalty. Got to admire his willingness to dribble and commit defenders, but he still remains a promising bhoy in limbo between sand-dancer and Zombie-killer (read Kuhn transition…)

DUNCAN IDAHO – 5.5/10 – A tough one. Yes, he is. But we still require more from him in this specialist ram-raiding solo role against packed stoic defences. He is – in my opinion (and it’s definitive, remember…) – improving with sharpness of thought and touch, but still lapses too much when we need him right on it and in there. He’s too nice on the park right now. Adding a bit of the Sutton/Hartson antisocial edge makes for a more potent target man.

Arne Engels and Daizen Maeda at the final whistle during match between Celtic and Motherwell at Celtic Park on 26th December 2024. Picture by Mark Runnacles

LORD KATSUMOTO – 6.5/10 – “He’s a diver, he’s a diver!” scream the Zombies to their nannies before locking on for some ‘bitty’…. And for once they are right – Daizen diving like a Mitsibushi Zero into an aircraft carrier to nail their coffin lid shut with his bleached heid. That capped another madcap Maeda afternoon where he’d been everywhere and anywhere doing everything and anything, and mostly it paid off.

SUBS –

Reo Hatate celebrates scoring during Scottish Premiership match between Celtic and Motherwell at Celtic Park, on 26th December 2024. (Picture by Mark Runnacles)

HAKUNA HATATE – 6.5/10 – Strike Three! Reo shows the rest the way it’s done by letting loose a low zinger from outside the box. Like the ancient Japanese saying goes – if ye don’t shoot, ye cannae score.

Kyogo Furuhashi at the final whistle during the Scottish Premiership match between Celtic and Motherwell at Celtic Park, on 26th December 2024. (Picture by Mark Runnacles)

KILLER MUSHROOM – N/A – ‘Defensive header of the day, coupon-buster.

Nicolas Kuhn celebrates scoring during the match between Celtic and Motherwell at Celtic Park, on 26th December 2024. Picture by Mark Runnacles

TAKINTE – 6.5/10 – The Kuuuuuuhnnnnnn! Is back. Via a deflection. But…see Reo… Looking like a Happy Kuhn Year upcoming, Bears. Har-de-har.

HIGHLAND TOFFEE – N/A – Sunday’s scapegoat? Surely not. Expect him to start THIS Sunday. Right, BR?

Alex Vale at the final whistle during the match between Celtic and Motherwell at Celtic Park, on 26th December 2024. Picture by Mark Runnacles

UNCANNY – N/A – Antother sure Sunday starter. Right BR? I’ll send you the teamsheet Saturday dinner time…

TONY WATT, CELTIC HERO – 7/10 – Twelve years later, slayer of Barcelona, movie critic and occasional footballer, comes up with the finest defensive clearance of the season to send the Zombies apoplectic with conspiracy theories that make even the conjecture around the current alien drone invasion of the USA sound like a rotary club fireworks display itinerary. And took a yellow, ‘for the jersey’ lol.

Salut, Tony.

Celtic manager Brendan Rodgers during the Scottish Premiership match between Celtic and Motherwell at Celtic Park, on 26th December 2024. (Picture by Mark Runnacles Shutterstock)

THE NOTAPRODDYGAL – 7.5/10 – Not very animated on the sidelines today – weighed down by the three new Gucci belts from Santa. Got his tweaks right though, introducing two hungry footballing exponents to the starting eleven. Even after the turgid first 40 minutes he refused to get shaken from conviction that this side would thin the blood of the contest and find a way through the clots. That played out just nicely after the break and afforded the luxury of picking and choosing a handful of subs with plenty game-time to allocate. Xmas test ticked off.

MIBBERY – 5/10 – The cracks began to show soon after they read in the rules that playing volleyball in the box is indeed a penalty. But not to us. Appeasing their goat-worrying overlords? That didn’t last, even though a ridiculous futile VAR delay attempt at our stonewaller was attempted to faze young Arne. How’d that work out for you? So  spare a thought for these distressed and crestfallen cultists as the whole Boxing Day Back-to-six-points-look-who’s-coming plan crashes around their thick heids. In fact, nah, don’t…

Celtic Park ahead of the match between Celtic and Motherwell on 26th December 2024. Picture by Mark Runnacles

OVERALL – 7.5/10 – “That’ll do, thick pigs, that’ll do.” said Farmer Hoggett. And so we set about setting the Xmas dinner table for the Saints to bless us with merriment and jhoy; they certainly did, lol. After an opening half hour of nascent concern, up stepped young Arne to ease the hangover anxiety and the rest of the Bhoys got in on the act properly for the remainder. Amazing what a few of days and settled weather does, from Sunday’s icy cacophony to Thursday’s mellow chill; so too did our football thaw a bit from Dundonian icicle to Motherwell roast.

Celtic Park ahead of the match between Celtic and Motherwell on 26th December 2024. Picture by Mark Runnacles

So dispelling a bit of seasonal glumness, we get our Celtic present late by efficiently whipping the Lost Boys Of Lanarkshire as we’re being told the Rangers are coming. And coming they were, apparently… Until Paisley Pirates looted and sank the bad ship Dignity. If only they had Jamesy Forrest, this premature would never happen. But, hilariously, once more the Christmas gift that keeps on giving crowned our splendid Holiday week with a classic Zombie hubris collapse; right up there with Dickens’ A Christmas Carol for repeat festive viewing.

Celtic Park ahead of the match between Celtic and Motherwell on 26th December 2024. Picture by Mark Runnacles

So now there’s supposed to be a sobering-up period between tonight and Sunday afternoon. Aye, right. It’s going to take me more than three days to get through this *case of Xmas Heated Zombie Tears – or ‘Mulled whine’ as it’s known.

Go Away Now

Sandman

Click on cover to order a hardback copy

Matthew’s debut Celtic book titled ‘The Bould Bhoys – Glory to their name’ was published by Celtic Star Books last year and is available to order HERE. This brilliant book is also available on Amazon Kindle for just £3.49 and includes all photo sections that appear in the hardback edition.

Matthew Marr with his debut Celtic book, Glory to their name, which tells the story of Celtic’s first ever title win. Photo The Celtic Star

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