Sandro Tonali reflects on his darkest days | OneFootball

Sandro Tonali is proving to be yet another inspired Eddie Howe signing.

Arguably only behind Alexander Isak when it comes to form this season, the midfielder has been key to Newcastle’s form, which has seen 13 wins in the last 16 game.

Sandro Tonali proving himself to be not only one of the very best midfielders in the Premier League, but indeed also one of the very best in Europe.

His journey hasn’t been easy though and now the player has been talking about his darkest days.

How his gambling started at a very early age and then finally reached the point where his addiction was made public and a worldwide suspension followed for almost a year, when it was revealed that Sandro Tonali had been gambling on football matches when he was at AC Milan.

Sandro Tonali speaking to the media in Italy, talking to La Repubblica about those darkest days and how he has now made it back into the light, a totally different person now.

“My lifestyle was negative. I was closed off from everyone and this made me change my behaviour: even with the people who loved me and whom I loved.

“I was like that both at the training ground and at home, with friends and family.

“Today, fortunately, I am different.”

“No. It became a habit when I was 17 or 18. And normal when it started taking up a lot of my time. The fact that it was online blocked me from everything, I closed myself in my shell.”

When did you realise that gambling was becoming an addiction?

“I actually never thought I ever had it.

“When a person finds themselves in a situation like that, it’s difficult to ask them if they’re sick. They’ll always say no. Even if they feel that it’s not the case.

“They can’t think they have that problem, so they tend to hide it.

“In the months away from the field I spent a lot of time with the psychologist. His job was to make me understand how I had fallen into it. U

“Usually you understand it when you lose something: family, job, salary. Instead, in my case the economic availability [high wages as a football player] did not make me realise the seriousness of the thing.

“It was a difficult recovery job. I could not take specific drugs, because with 95% of them I would have tested positive for anti-doping, so it was all a mental journey: it lasted months, with a psychologist and a psychiatrist.”

Was the ban decisive?

“In the first two months I was detached from everyone, then returning to life, training every day without having the match, I understood that I was paying for what I had done.”

How much held did you get in England?

“A lot. My teammates and coach have always kept me inside, as have the staff and management. Newcastle fans and the opposing fans have never judged me. Here they respect everyone’s problems, they don’t push things too hard and they try to help you.”

Can the cell (mobile) phone be a drug (Sandro Tonali regularly used his phone to gamble)?

“In the last year I haven’t had it for six months.

“Of course I felt a sense of freedom: the sensation of being okay even without it. Before I couldn’t go from room to room, today I take it when I leave the house and leave it when I come back. I only take it back if mom, dad or a family member calls me. And with social media the relationship is minimal.”

What was life like during the ban?

“The first month I was traveling between Italy and England. I never touched depression, because I worked on myself straight away. Three online interviews a week and one in person every month. I didn’t miss a single one. We always talked about the day before, with three specific works: one on me, the other on gambling and the last one was the compendium. I did the 16 meetings organized by the FIGC in Italy: after the first 6 months of the disqualification, I was in Bari, Rome, Florence, Milan, Verona. I met the young people of the teams and the staff”.

The most inspirational meeting?

“In Newcastle, in a factory that makes covers for gas pipes in the ocean.

“I went there because gambling is very common in England.

“There were people who told me, several months after the disqualification: “I stopped betting because of what happened to you”. They had been compulsive gamblers for years.”

Do you feel like a role model now?

“A compulsive gambler doesn’t talk about it, but if he gets unstuck, he can then commit. Talking is the hardest thing. You’ll never be able to make yourself look like a loser, but the only real help is to open up.”